Up The Wankers, Amanda.
Submitted by Steve on Sun, 06/08/2008 - 1:53pm.
Amanda Green passed away at 2am this morning from pancreatic cancer. She was only 49.
I moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan in 1999. In large part, Amanda is one of the reasons I'm here. What more or less brought me to Brooklyn, and what taught me that Brooklyn isn't "Injun territory", as so many Manhattanites believe the boros to be, is a Brooklyn Heights restaurant I became a part of in 1993 called La Bouillabaisse.
I met Amanda in 1990 at a small birthday party for me at the Oyster Bar. She was a friend of my sister's and was living in Stratford, CT, where she and her boyfriend sold exotic birds. She was a lively, beautiful and worldy woman but what really attracted me to her was her stinging British wit and that she could appreciate my sarcasm without wincing. We became fast friends.
In her teens and early 20s, Amanda had toured the world as a singer and dancer (the second title always surprised me because she was the clumsiest person I knew). She was trying to lay the groundwork for a relocation to NYC to do her music. Since I'm a former professional bass player, we connected on that vector as well. She always saw me as a musician who would eventually learn the error of my ways and return to playing where I belonged.
I was living in a large loft at Broadway and Bleecker and I had a spare bedroom so I offered it to her. There were no ulterior relationship motivations behind the offer. She was simply more fun to be around than the diminishing number of women I was seeing. In fact, Amanda's sister had then recently died of cancer and after my relationship with my blood sister turned sour we mutually adopted each other.
Amanda was a natural networker. When I came home at the end of the day I never knew if I'd be walking in on a dinner party or a pub crawl heading out to the LES or bringing a girl back to a loft full of Brits just off the boat. Amanda was like the unofficial British Embassy.
The one constant in our friendship was that Friday night, rain or snow, we had our cold saki slosh-outs at Sharaku or Hasaki on Stuyvesant. "Excuse me, may I have another saki, please?" became a running gag. Once she started slurring her words to that plea, we were done for the night. But not before the ritual of popping walnut sized chunks of wasabi mustard in our respective mouths for the walk home. She loved spicy food. Another point for Amanda.
Amanda was working as a bartender and soon got a job at Square and Compass, the Masonic club on West 23rd Street where she met the head chef, Neil Ganic. Neil and Amanda became involved. I admit that I was a bit jealous of him, not because of their romantic involvement but because she wasn't around much anymore. The obvious solution to that was to invite Neil to stay at the loft too. Neil was the original wild and crazy Eastern European guy. While he could be abrasive and over the top, he fit in nicely. He always suspected that Amanda and I had been more than friends and she enjoyed twisting that knife on occasion to keep Neil in line. After all, I had home field advantage.
One night while Amanda was seeing friends out of town Neil and I went barhopping, which is when we came upon the idea of opening our own pub. Neil had the skills and my Citibank contract provided the cash. Plus I had the construction know-how. Initially, the idea was to find something downtown in the seaport area but the rents were prohibitive, even in 1993.
I regarded this restaurant idea in the same context as "some day I want to ride my motorcycle through China" so I was knocked off balance when Neil called to tell me that he'd scrounged a storefront on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn from one of the Masons. It was currently operating as a funky curry house. He wanted to open in two weeks. My first trip to Brooklyn in probably ten years was signing the DBA and partnership papers for La Bouillabaisse at the Brooklyn court house.
Amanda thought we were both nuts however she agreed to help. She walked around the corner to Noho Star and recruited our entire dining room staff over a glass of wine. But she liked her bartender gig and wanted nothing to do with our hair-brained idea. After a hellish construction schedule, La Bouillabaisse opened to positive reviews and lines of waiting customers. After that, it didn't take much persuasion to get Amanda to agree to become a partner and for me to breathe a huge sigh of relief because running a restaurant wasn't something I wanted to do.
The demands of running the restaurant meant that it was only a matter of time before Amanda and Neil would have to move closer to it. In 1994, Amanda got pregnant and that was that. They rented an apartment in Cobble Hill. The loft felt empty without her but I knew that she'd found what she was made to do. She loved kids and she loved entertaining. She loved the attention too, especially the rave review which described her as "a cross between Maryanne Faithful and Annie Lennox with big hoop earrings", and was especially thrilled the night that the real Maryanne Faithful showed up at La B with Amanda's other super hero, Diana Rigg.
The rest is pretty much Brooklyn Heights lore. La Bouillabaisse was a big hit, they had two beautiful and talented kids, Nicholas and Layla, Neil opened a bunch more restaurants, they split up, Amanda conceived and managed Wine Bar on Henry Street. Amanda was one those people who always landed on her feet by the strength of her will, positive outlook and amazing people powers.
After I left La Bouillabaisse in '99 and got buried in this house renovation and life-sucking consulting, I lost touch with most of my friends. But being the networker Amanda is, she always took the initiative to call me at least once a week to see how things were going, even if it was during a quick dash to the subway. That's just how she was. Once you were "in", you couldn't get out. During her most recent hospital stay there were parades of people coming to visit her, flying in from as far away as Europe, some of them from Amanda's primary school years.
Amanda was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2005. After a touch-and-go summer, everybody thought she'd beat it. She was back to her fighting self last fall but the cancer returned with a vengeance this spring and claimed her life today.
Amanda was "stiff upper lip" through and through. The absolute last thing she'd want anyone to do is to think of her in sympathetic terms or to be grief-stricken for her. She celebrated life and good times more than anyone I've met. So to her I say what she always said to me after we paid the check on saki nights and she lifted her glass for a last toast:
"Up the wankers!"
I moved to Brooklyn from Manhattan in 1999. In large part, Amanda is one of the reasons I'm here. What more or less brought me to Brooklyn, and what taught me that Brooklyn isn't "Injun territory", as so many Manhattanites believe the boros to be, is a Brooklyn Heights restaurant I became a part of in 1993 called La Bouillabaisse.
I met Amanda in 1990 at a small birthday party for me at the Oyster Bar. She was a friend of my sister's and was living in Stratford, CT, where she and her boyfriend sold exotic birds. She was a lively, beautiful and worldy woman but what really attracted me to her was her stinging British wit and that she could appreciate my sarcasm without wincing. We became fast friends.
In her teens and early 20s, Amanda had toured the world as a singer and dancer (the second title always surprised me because she was the clumsiest person I knew). She was trying to lay the groundwork for a relocation to NYC to do her music. Since I'm a former professional bass player, we connected on that vector as well. She always saw me as a musician who would eventually learn the error of my ways and return to playing where I belonged.
I was living in a large loft at Broadway and Bleecker and I had a spare bedroom so I offered it to her. There were no ulterior relationship motivations behind the offer. She was simply more fun to be around than the diminishing number of women I was seeing. In fact, Amanda's sister had then recently died of cancer and after my relationship with my blood sister turned sour we mutually adopted each other.
Amanda was a natural networker. When I came home at the end of the day I never knew if I'd be walking in on a dinner party or a pub crawl heading out to the LES or bringing a girl back to a loft full of Brits just off the boat. Amanda was like the unofficial British Embassy.
The one constant in our friendship was that Friday night, rain or snow, we had our cold saki slosh-outs at Sharaku or Hasaki on Stuyvesant. "Excuse me, may I have another saki, please?" became a running gag. Once she started slurring her words to that plea, we were done for the night. But not before the ritual of popping walnut sized chunks of wasabi mustard in our respective mouths for the walk home. She loved spicy food. Another point for Amanda.
Amanda was working as a bartender and soon got a job at Square and Compass, the Masonic club on West 23rd Street where she met the head chef, Neil Ganic. Neil and Amanda became involved. I admit that I was a bit jealous of him, not because of their romantic involvement but because she wasn't around much anymore. The obvious solution to that was to invite Neil to stay at the loft too. Neil was the original wild and crazy Eastern European guy. While he could be abrasive and over the top, he fit in nicely. He always suspected that Amanda and I had been more than friends and she enjoyed twisting that knife on occasion to keep Neil in line. After all, I had home field advantage.
One night while Amanda was seeing friends out of town Neil and I went barhopping, which is when we came upon the idea of opening our own pub. Neil had the skills and my Citibank contract provided the cash. Plus I had the construction know-how. Initially, the idea was to find something downtown in the seaport area but the rents were prohibitive, even in 1993.
I regarded this restaurant idea in the same context as "some day I want to ride my motorcycle through China" so I was knocked off balance when Neil called to tell me that he'd scrounged a storefront on Atlantic Avenue in Brooklyn from one of the Masons. It was currently operating as a funky curry house. He wanted to open in two weeks. My first trip to Brooklyn in probably ten years was signing the DBA and partnership papers for La Bouillabaisse at the Brooklyn court house.
Amanda thought we were both nuts however she agreed to help. She walked around the corner to Noho Star and recruited our entire dining room staff over a glass of wine. But she liked her bartender gig and wanted nothing to do with our hair-brained idea. After a hellish construction schedule, La Bouillabaisse opened to positive reviews and lines of waiting customers. After that, it didn't take much persuasion to get Amanda to agree to become a partner and for me to breathe a huge sigh of relief because running a restaurant wasn't something I wanted to do.
The demands of running the restaurant meant that it was only a matter of time before Amanda and Neil would have to move closer to it. In 1994, Amanda got pregnant and that was that. They rented an apartment in Cobble Hill. The loft felt empty without her but I knew that she'd found what she was made to do. She loved kids and she loved entertaining. She loved the attention too, especially the rave review which described her as "a cross between Maryanne Faithful and Annie Lennox with big hoop earrings", and was especially thrilled the night that the real Maryanne Faithful showed up at La B with Amanda's other super hero, Diana Rigg.
The rest is pretty much Brooklyn Heights lore. La Bouillabaisse was a big hit, they had two beautiful and talented kids, Nicholas and Layla, Neil opened a bunch more restaurants, they split up, Amanda conceived and managed Wine Bar on Henry Street. Amanda was one those people who always landed on her feet by the strength of her will, positive outlook and amazing people powers.
After I left La Bouillabaisse in '99 and got buried in this house renovation and life-sucking consulting, I lost touch with most of my friends. But being the networker Amanda is, she always took the initiative to call me at least once a week to see how things were going, even if it was during a quick dash to the subway. That's just how she was. Once you were "in", you couldn't get out. During her most recent hospital stay there were parades of people coming to visit her, flying in from as far away as Europe, some of them from Amanda's primary school years.
Amanda was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2005. After a touch-and-go summer, everybody thought she'd beat it. She was back to her fighting self last fall but the cancer returned with a vengeance this spring and claimed her life today.
Amanda was "stiff upper lip" through and through. The absolute last thing she'd want anyone to do is to think of her in sympathetic terms or to be grief-stricken for her. She celebrated life and good times more than anyone I've met. So to her I say what she always said to me after we paid the check on saki nights and she lifted her glass for a last toast:
"Up the wankers!"
Memorial service for Amanda
Monday, June 16 at 3pm
Grace Church
254 Hicks Street (between Remsen & Joralemon)
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Monday, June 16 at 3pm
Grace Church
254 Hicks Street (between Remsen & Joralemon)
Brooklyn, NY 11201
Amanda C. Green Memorial Fund
A fund has been set up for contributions in lieu of flowers. Make checks payable to the Amanda C. Green Memorial Fund. The mailing address is:
Amanda C. Green Fund
c/o Zerline L Goodman, Attorney
15 Clark St
Brooklyn, NY 11201-2182
A fund has been set up for contributions in lieu of flowers. Make checks payable to the Amanda C. Green Memorial Fund. The mailing address is:
Amanda C. Green Fund
c/o Zerline L Goodman, Attorney
15 Clark St
Brooklyn, NY 11201-2182
That Amanda
On the subject of the memorial service, I was very touched by the gift of the living marigold. Not only does this humble flower stand guard at the garden’s border repelling unwanted insects but it is an essential member of any first aid garden. For the first time in my life I have a garden and I was just saying the day before the service (to no one in particular) that I wanted more orange marigolds, the yellow ones I inherited not being my preference.
On the crowded subway the fragile stem bent under the weight of a single ponderous flower and I was suddenly sad and panicky that it would not reach home intact. While trying to shield it from the sea breezes on the ferry a man asked me “what is it all about” and when I told him he held up his jacket to block the wind.
On reaching home I took some scotch tape and gently pinched it around the stem. I untied the slender red ribbon and unwrapped the white muslim cloth that swaddled the small neat root ball. Then I made the softest bed I’ve made for any sapling ever and eased into the earth the threadlike tendrils of roots.
And so, every morning when I leave for the city I say,” Good morning, Amanda, I’ll see you later”. And when I return in the evening it’s. “Hello Amanda, I’m home!”
That Amanda….who knew… the love affair just goes on….
well written and summised Steve
also...my remembrance, for Amanda, for the kids...is on my public blog at http://www.bubblegumpop.vox.com
Amanda's Memorial
Leila and Joan gave wonderful remembrances, as did David, Chris, Linda and Tracy. Chris even had a star officially named for her: Amanda Cindy Green. Joy Askew sang "Come Rain or Come Shine".
Neil whipped up a great feed for everyone afterwards. The man clearly makes the best crab cakes ever.
Darling Amanda
Especially for Nick, Leila and Joan,
Words, so many ..I was told to write a book once about Amanda and my exploits around the world for over seven years and then our arrival in South of France where we decided to stay and change our lives. If it wasn’t for Amanda I wouldn’t have my lovely children, two boys Tobie and Ashley, if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t have stayed in this paradise for the last 20+years if it wasn’t for Amanda I would never have known what true love of a girlfriend and companion is..
It is impossible to describe how I feel about this lovely lady, she was the most utterly sweet, kind, funny, crazy, loving, infuriating, complicated, beautiful person I have ever had the good fortune to know and be with and I feel as if a part of me has gone with her.
Despite the years apart it is as if our partnership was yesterday. I have missed her terribly over the years living with you all in NY but I know she was very happy there. After 9/11 she came back to me in France and was very close to staying and bringing the love of her lives, Nick and Leila, to move with us here I am sad this did not happen but I know she has given much joy to you all and made her mark! It would be impossible for Amanda not to do this anywhere in the world. Everybody loves her she has that effect .
We spent so many years on the road, with the show and then as friends in our private lives dodging between our lovers friends business and madness and never in all those years or to this day have we ever had a row or cross word. Both so different and yet so supportive to each other.
I have so many hilarious,extroadinary,bizarre, loving, tremendous moments to share with you all but for the moment just to say to that your mum was the best ever and keep your strength and courage to go forward to the future with the fantastic love of life, spirit, humour ,intelligence and understanding of us human beings and the world as she did and you will be fine.
I am proud to have known Amanda Green.
I love you Amanda
Mel xx
amanda
dearest Mel, i loved all what you said and wished we could all together again for old times sake and have a good laugh as we used to, fondest love, Barbara
Amanda
Dear Barbara
It was good to hear of you again after all these years and I am sorry not to respond sooner I am absolutely devastated by the passing of our Amanda as I am sure you all are it is just terrible. I will miss her so much. Please email me now we are back in contact, I have lived on the Cote d'Azur for over 20 years now and my two boys are 23 and 18. We have often gone down to Marbella, so lets keep in touch and if you ever come this way come and see us too.
Look forward to seeing you one of these days..
All Love Mel x
PS I have never done this blog stuff so not sure if this is posted to all or just you and how we get each others emails?
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A Friendship Is Forever
I have known darling Amanda for about 30 years and met her through mutual friends Ian and Mel and we have all remained very very close and always will be.
I have boundless wonderful, crazy memories of Amanda. One that always has me falling about to this day was when I went to stay with her in Connecticut from Bermuda a long time ago. Thinking we were going to have a “rock n roll” week together she took me to this needlework shop and told me to choose a tapestry, yes tapestry. I am never lost for words but on this occasion I went dumb. Having duly chosen half a cushion cover we went back to the house and I kid you not we spent the entire week in bed together doing tapestry, eating lime fondants and singing, “If they could see me now”! Totally bizarre.
Walking down the Kings Road in the late 70’s, Amanda so tall in killer boots and leopard print trousers, myself suddenly lacking confidence as I was dwarfed by her.
Days of wine and madness. Such fun.
There was indeed great sadness when her beloved sister Annabelle passed away with the dreaded “C” and her much loved Aunt.
Five years ago when I was 50, Ian organised quite the biggest surprise of my life when at my lovely party I turned around and there was Amanda, Mel, Simon ……………just so fabulous to have them fly over to surprise me and then if things could not have got any better, “Blondessence” was reformed for two songs, they got on stage and sang for me and the guests. Now that is a memory that will live with me forever.
The next day we all had an amazing lunch in my cottage garden that ended 15 hours and a dry vineyard later!
I was able to go and stay with Amanda in September 2006 when she was recovering from her major operation. I was astounded by her courage and she never seemed to complain, she just got on with life however tough it was surrounded by her many friends and the help of a mobile phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It was just so wonderful to meet the gorgeous Nicholas whom I bonded with straight away and love him to bits even though he does support Arsenal!
The lovely Miss Smeila (my private little name for her) and I would talk, play and of course shop! Darling Leila.
Amanda adored her children passionately and they were her raison d’etre and in this time of deep sadness and grief they will always have their Mother’s deep love in their hearts that will comfort them in the days ahead.
My love, hugs and kisses go to Nick, Leila, Joan, David Step-Pa, David H and all her wonderful friends.
Today, is a day of celebration of a doting Mother, a loving daughter and a really brilliant friend.
I love you.
Zeddie xxxx
"Up the wankers!" - Let's Party!!
Hi Steve. Oh, the memories of Amanda and your apartment came flooding back!
Amanda was one of my oldest friends. We met in 1976 … and after a few months together we even got engaged for a laugh as an excuse for a party! - That was Amanda.
I introduced her to Melanie (another “ex”!) with whom she went on to form “Blondessence” and they toured successfully all over the world as “an exciting combination of two outstanding talents” singing and dancing their way through lots of fun adventures.
Amongst many of our friends in the UK she earned the soubriquet “Two Steaks Amanda”. – One night, after finishing a main course of a huge T-Bone steak in a restaurant, our host enquired if she’d like anything else, to which she replied “another one of those”. .. and she polished another T-Bone off with equal rapidity hence the nickname by which many of us still remember her with love and affection.
Amanda had more zest for life than anyone I’ve ever known and her remarkable courage in fighting her illness set a personal example for me in my fight with prostate cancer. We’d swap horrendous treatment stories by email and ‘phone, but we always ended up laughing.
My memories of her are countless, most of them happy, a few of them sad. Her courage came to the fore again when she went through a painful experience donating bone marrow to her sister Annabelle who so sadly also lost her fight against the wretched ‘big C’. She was very close to her auntie, Yana, who was a huge singing star in the UK Variety Theatres in the 50’s and 60’s. Another close relative who, sadly, she saw suffer.
Not long after she moved to the USA I met up with her and some of our mutual English friends in New York. Steve’s apartment came in very useful for Amanda! (By the way Steve, it was at that time you were tinkering about with a new system whereby computers ‘talked’ to each other: what we now call the Internet I believe?) Anyway, Amanda took great delight in taking us with her on a tour of her favourite watering holes and – as always - we had a truly memorable time with a lot of laughter.
About three years ago, just before she was diagnosed, she came to the UK and was given a huge welcome at our local pub just down the lane. By coincidence, my wife and I moved 12 years ago to within a few miles of where Amanda used to live in Henfield in West Sussex. Her ‘local pub’ has now been mine for the past 12 years and there were many of the old regulars who still remembered her when she came to visit. Another excuse for a party! Not that Amanda ever needed one.
I will always remember her huge smile, ready wit and wicked sense of fun. I will miss her dearly as I know will many of her friends over here in the UK. As well as the beautiful Nicholas and Leyla, her mum Joan and step-pa David are much in our thoughts at the moment.
For all the fun and laughter Amanda, Thank You!
Rest in Peace, dear heart.
Amanda
dear Ian, i dont know if you remember me , but here i am ,Barbara from London.you know how fond i was of Amanda and how many good times we had together,i just cant believe that i will never see her again.please write to me if you can, lots of love
Amanda
Barbara ... where've you been for the past 10 years!
Not sure if you can contact me direct this way but please try
via the link on the Hiss and Boo web site.
Hope to see you on the 10th?
Much love
Ian
We were wondering...
where Amanda's been lately whenever we passed the Wine Bar on the way to Henry's End or Noodle Pudding. We'd thought she had beaten the cancer and it was nice to see her happy again and involved. It had been a shock to us when we ran into her a couple of years ago, having not seen her for awhile. She was very frail and thin but still had a great smile. Then we found out about the cancer.
We were original & regular customers at La B. and at the Petit Crevette on Atlantic. We spent N.Years Eves eating there. I talked with Amanda about our squash playing days at Park Place....she wasnt really that clumsy. Then they broke up and we lost touch, only running into each other once in awhile.
Amanda was an upbeat, sarcastic, warm person who we will miss quite a lot. We really thought she'd beaten it.
rest in peace mom
mom really was born a fighter and taught me how to be a proper young man. I really miss her bedtime stories already and that warm spirit that keeps my day going, i will pass down to my children when i am older all of the amazing gifts she has given to me. It is such a shock to no she is not here any more, but her spirit is very high and i can still here her say " Do! your bloody homework!!"
your lovely Mum
Dear Nicholas, I am so sorry that i dont know you and your sister Leila. My name is Barbara Frederick and i live in London,but now i live more in Marbella which is in Spain. I have met your lovely Mum when she was 11 years old, i knew your grandma and at that time your grandad.Amananda,your mum grew up into a most beautiful teenager and young lady, she was stunning to look at and had a very special personality.I myself have 2children, Tracy(5 years younger than your mum) and John(7 years younger) who loved Amanda very much, We all spend a great holiday together in Majorca (an island in spain)and Amanda came to live with us for a few month. We all grew very fond of her and the rest of the story i like to tell you when i meet
you , hopefully soon.All my love to you and Leila and if ever you want to come and visit me just call!!!! like your mum used to. I would love that.Huge hugs from me and Tracy and John.